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The Greatest Pizza Story Ever Told (#1020)
Merry Bizarro Xmas everybody! I hope you all enjoy it with pizza. Or, ham or turkey or a goose or whatever meat people eat on these days. I'm going to eat a loaf of some sort of fungus that is poultry-like. To each their own.

When I was in college virtual pets were all the rage. Since I was dirt poor I couldn't afford a brand-name Tamagotchi, so instead I got a terrible Chinese knockoff called Guappi Guwa. He was a duck. Some of the pixels were out in his eye area so occasionally he'd only have one eye. I named him Blinky. On the packaging, among Chinese characters and speech bubbles reading "PI! PI!" was a title: "Have be born?!". I don't know what this is supposed to mean. The challenge of this pet was the day cycles got rapidly getting faster and faster, until the second week when Blinky was waking me up three times a night to be fed and walked. I humanely pulled out the battery rather than watch him die a death at my negligent hand.

The Greatest Pizza Story Ever Told (#1020)

A Comic.

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